30 April 2010

hrga sbuah xxxx

The Price Of Love

bila mekarnya sekuntum bunga..

gelora ombak tidak lagi dirasa..

segalanya tampak indah, bak istana kaca..

tiada lagi yang mampu diungkap, hanya mahligai tatapan mata..

persisnya berada di taman bunga..

harum baunya tiada ungkapan lahir dikata

hanya hati yang menjadi saksi, cinta yang tulus ini..

dengan harapan, ia akan kekal sebegini..

baik hari ini, esok mahupun lusa..

panas, sejuk tidak kira di mana jua..

semuanya tidak kan mengoyah kasih yang dipatri, lilauan hati..

kepadanya sahaja ia diberi..

dan tiada yang lain, mampu menandingi..

harga sebuah cinta, ikhlas dari sebuah hati..
-pen off-

29 April 2010

bismillah... ar Rahman, ar Raheem..

for today.. 2many unusual things happen
1. this morning, i drove to work 10minutes late than my usual time..
yet, i still arrive early.. subhanallah...

2. the accountng person who was mad at me last week as i told b4,
was actually pleasantly nice to me today.. subhanallah..
i guess the stress at work that coz her to behave the other way back then

3. i msges with 1 of my sis here, told that.. if she's having a day off   2morow,due to labour day falling on saturday, lets met up in the evening, since i still have to work 2morow, half day.. but she was going back to her hometown 2morrow and ask me to meet up with her tonite.. but i really dont know the way how to get there.. so we promised to meet each other perhaps in another day.. insyaAllah..

4. during lunch break, i stayed in office.. and opened up my ym, being invisible.. and i saw, a few of my beloved sisters were on9.. so, i msgged them.. at 1st, i tot no-one will answer my bug..
Allahamdulillah.. all 3 of them response to my call.. tq sisters..
to sis1.. i told my story that happen y'day.. she was very understanding on what happen.. tq sis..
to sis2.. i asked her how's she's doin with the work @ d hosp..
n she told me she was at the hosp now which ive been there, to send my other sis there last year.. what a wonderful memories.. subhanallah..
to sis3.. she's the one who lift my spirit.. making me smile with her share..

5. this when all bad thing start to happen.. it started when i emailed a supplier about our order.. and ok, i admit, my mistake for putting the subject wrong.. but i really did attached the right doc. and suddenly the PIC, wants to changed the delivery add.. so, i was appointed to that supplier that we need to change the delivery point address..
up till this, he was ok with the change.. and then he replied, how bout the doc no. as ####.. is it from your company who ordered it..
so, i told him, yes.. but we've already canceled it last tues.. n i told him i'll foward the cancellation email.
now, when he starts to get angry.. he 'bang' me for not informing about the order n cancellation.. all those harsh words..
hey, it wasnt my fault.. i just did what the pic told me..
to whom i shud address the order to..
and now i get all the blame.. and since the email was cc to a whole lot of person, i was then accused of not informing the pic of the purchase is it the rite email dat i shud send it to..
well, i can tell u, i did ask dat person verbally, face to face about to whom should i send this email to.. and yes, that person gave me the wrong email..
and im getting all the humiliation.. and the blame
now, that person can only say to me..
"dont worry..it'll be ok.. "-translation from bm word-
at that time, only Allah knows whats in my heart..
aku mls nk marah.. [sbb klu aku dh start marah, especially if im start saying things in malay.. mmg truk la jadinya..]
tho the truth is, i was really2 feeling sad and feel humiliated at that moment.. i apologize several time to that supplier for my mistake which was actually wasnt my fault.. and promise not to do it again.. and i guess, this supplier like humiliating me, and keep replying my email.. saying sumthing like yeah, u shud never repeat this mistake again, becoz if u do, i'll blame u again..
since time tu dh masuk asar.. aku pun, undur la diri dari org, gi solat asar.. mencari ketenangan.. n without intentionally.. my tears start dropping.. bukan aku sedih sbb kn mrh.. but d person who actually gave me the wrong info that cause all this trouble doesnt even admit she's wrong..and doesnt even apologize to me..
and than, there's another person, who were there with me during my lunch y''day console me in an email.. yeah.. was really unexpecting this kind of email from this person..
well, from now on.. i now.. who's ur true friend is..
that laugh with u when u're happy.. and cry with u to share ur sadness..
alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah..
i know this happen to me for a reason..
Allah wants me to be closer to Him.. for perhaps, im really goin off the course towards Him..
and for this, He send down the rain.. to match as whats my heart feels..
tq my Lord.. tq..
"Then will come after that a year in which people will be given rain.."(Yusuf:49) 

may each things that encounter in my life, will make me to be a stonger muslim in the 1 right path..
bismillahi tawakallahtu...

-pen off-

when d hearts keeps to beat non-stop..

there's so many things, i would like to know..

as there's so many things, are yet to show..

so little time i've got to throw..

for so little thrust i have in vow..

will i forth on a lifetime of commitment..

will it blaze on tho breeze seem to redundant..

the sparrow seems to chirps happily..

the clock in my mind ticks that buzz on, its juz worldly..

graze me firm on this ground..

put me stern, tho it bleeds till wound..

to You, my Lord.. i lay down my throne..

as my worthiness has long lost gone.. 

bimisllahi tawakallah tu..
O Allah.. place me among the righteous.. 
and steadfast my heart and action to be with You..

28 April 2010

2 day was an ackward day..

my friend invited me to a very grand lunch...which she said,
to buy tickets, cost 300 ringgit each.. but she got a few tickets free..
so, i thought, ok.. y shudnt i join her.. since i dont always go out for lunch..

and, subhanallah.. it was really2 grand..
variety of foods,drinks,dessert,fruits.. a buffet..

the only thng which i sort of dislike was the mc..
who was actually.. a guy, who dressed as a woman.. u know what i mean..
dis mc ni mcm the character dlm citer upin-ipin pengmbaraan the movie tu..
pastu, dier panggil plak 5 bos from diff company, dress as if mikel jakson, n perform kt dpn.. nk buat ala2 amrcnIdol katernyer..
so,mnri la bos2 ni kt dpn.. n nk pilih pmng kn jerit kuat biler org tu dibw ke dpn..

aku ingt, it will end there.. but NO..

.. ader concert yg memekak2 plak..(oh, ni lg 1 benda yg aku x ske)
rupenyer, feymes ind-0nsía artst..
aiyoo.. aku mmg x kenal artis.. yg org msia pun aku x ingt name.. ape lagi yg o/c.. tp aku rs mcm nk pecah gegendang telinga kut..
auDio was tOoOO loud..

time tu aku mmg rase nk blk.. tp sbb aku ikut kwn aku, nek kreta dier..
x leh nk balk.. sbb 1 of them sbnrye dtg tuk tgk concert tu.. aku ingt smua pegi tuk lunch..

dh la aku dh lmbt blk ke ofis.. lmbt sejam dh wey.. tp kwn2 aku ckp x per.. dier ckp, ofis tu x bg benefit enough kt worker dier.. n ni event official ofis pun.. huh..

tp diorg keje section len.. marketing..
aku keje bhgn yg agak busy.. so, finally dpt la gak pujuk sorg yg nk stay tu tuk blk..

smpi2 ofis, org tnya aku gi maner..
to tell d truth, aku mmg x tau aper nm tempat tu..
so bila sorg mamat tu tny, ko kuar ngan xxx1 ker,
aku ckp yer.. pastu lg sorg plak tny, xxx1 tu bwk gi mane..
aku yg mmg x tau, ckp ntah, pegi ngan xxx2 skali..
mula ingt dier nk marah..
tp bile aku ckp name xxx2, baru dier ok..

hm.. takut dah wey.. aku x nk dh kuar  gi mane2 tmpt yg ada benda2 grand mcm gini.. gi kedai2 mkn biasa cukup la..

jap gi nk kuar ngn mak..
tetibe ayah nk ikut plak.. jealous la tu, org gi x ajak dier.. hehe
tp x kesah la ayah nk ikut pun..
mesti bosan duk sorg2 kt rmh..

a full extraordinary day for me..
and here i attached the scenery of d event this afternoon..

 this was sum of the things dat i took.. toO much choice.. rambang mata.. alhamdulillah
 ni kt tmpt buah2, dessert
 ni kt tmpt aku duduk pandg stage.. tp x nmpk sgt. aku mls nk gerak2..
ni view dr tmpt aku berdiri beratur amik mknn berlauk..

27 April 2010

all praise only to Allah SwTaála..

today was a good day..

my work was fun..
my driving was ok..

juz sumthin dat i have to laugh at myself..
my colleague asked me to help her send an email,
to cancel an order made y'day..

so, i was like.. ok.. its not hard..

n i guess, becoz i used to like reading english story books..
i found the rite way to write the cancellation  order email..
being firm yet polite..

n she was amazed by it.. astaghfirullah..
jgn timbulkn rasa riak dlm diriku ini ya Allah..

when i looked back at the email i sent..
byk je grammatical mistake..
but i guess.. d email was ok.. alhamdulillah..

hope 2 morow i cud do better..
çan-dáce juz asked me to join them (d marketing grup)
for lunch 2day..
i hope i remember that 2morow..
as i was to join them 2day...but i totally forgot about it..


-pen off-
( i cud no longer use short form p/o since it meant puchazOrdr at my work are)
may 2morrow be a better day..

26 April 2010

i sumhow felt regretted for getting close to sumone..
who eventually made me look 'disgusted' to everyone else..
n how i tot that...
..whoever closes the humiliation of a Muslim, Allah will cover its humilation in the world and the hereafter..

and hak seorang sahabat adalah:
saling menutup aib rakannya yang lain. kekurangan sahabat kita, jangan diheboh2kan ke orang lain..

bukan aku nk ckp, ape yg aku buat tu aib.. tapi cara dia menceritakan tu,
aku dapat rasakan, mesti orang yg mendengar perbualan kami itu seperti aku telah lakukan perkara yang buruk..

sedangkan, sebenarnya, aku tidak terangkan pun secara detail apa yg ingin aku smpikan.. sbb dia terlebih dahulu mencelah, sblm smpt aku terangkan...

well then.. lantak la..

aku bkn lari dari tgjwb d'wh..
i tried my best to get to know prog2 yg ada...
i tried to attend, but to this moment..ive not able to..
my u' has not yet been called.. i have one.. but
they unable to contact me yet.. that is what the pic here told me..

aku bkn mcm budak sombong kt tmpt keje..
in fact, aku rasa, aku sngt senang nk bek ngn makcik2 kt tmpt keje..
yg susah, the 'guys' at my work place..
bkn susah sbb ape, sbb mmg diorg tu mcm bdak skolah..
which i called as 'flirting'.. x kan aku nk lyn..
dgn the gurls, ok je.. alhmdllh..
ngn kakak2 floor len pun aku bek,iA..

dah la..
sdh lama merendahkan diri aku..
ive shud have not told/share wif u anythin bout my disease..
becoz, since then, u've always look down upon me..
the most easiest exmple is during d trip to adel...

ok, i shud stop..
its making me more and more stressful..

dh la td kt tmpt keje, brlaku vandalisme ats keter aku..
oh, keter ayah aku.. truk btul la org kt c ni..

25 April 2010

feels like im havin a fever la plak..

ntah knape ntah..

'FoL' ke...


24 April 2010


dis is not goOd..

y is dis feelin starts to rise up again..

it shud have been long lost, gone..

yes.. dis what is called as amore or grá..

i shud be hating it..

but my guess is, its either ít' or thee..

to choose its really hard...toO hard infact..

the memoirs keep on floating back in..


well then.. to thee i give dis..


to this sober nite..
i lay low, with thy spark in sight..
the tree that hang till burst..
never has it yield, the lonesome path..
where it all started..
the ones that were once bound of love..
now greet trash filled with dust from above..
should the bare of grass, now be seeded till green..?
for the pinch of light, will never be greet..
as the reminisce has fallen till pitch..

23 April 2010

today i learned..

those who said they are being 'trbyh'.. shud not be toO proud of themselves..

being at my workplace, i learn that its the job that we're in..
the things we have to place each day that will actually teach u, shape u..

my work here needs a lot of communications with people..
and yes, if things goes wrong, the PIC proj will hit you..the boss will bang at you..
n the spplér n cliént can be fed up with u..

and most worse of all, if the finance department keep on burning up on ur back..

it cud have been stressful..
it cud have been a pain..

yet, i saw that my collegue there was very2 patience..
tho she was burden up with soO much work..
she still entertain each call with a joy. each person wif a smile..
i dunt think i can do it the way she does..

today, the finance person blast off and put it all on me for did sumthing i tot i was suppose to do..
n to end it short.. my sis here met up with that person and talk it with her, handled her, and got everything sort out..
i think i owe her one for this..BIG TIME..

after a mess @ d office, we finally check out of the office at 7pm..
i tot it wil be jam on the way back, as it always did last 2 fridays..
but surprisingly, i got home in 50minutes..

certainly.. for every difficulty there is ease..


today, i tried calling sum1, whom i suppose to get-in-touch wif if i wanted to register for a prog..
but it seems that the no. they provided at the 'poster' is certainly not accessable.. both no.
the sis-no. and the bro-no..
memang mcm  x nak bagi aku pegi ape2 prog nmpknye
(n this sis, i had tried to call on wed back then, n i cudnt get in touch wif...which make me to try today)

now my head feels like thumping inside..
my right side of the brain/head to be exact..
hm... we'll c how it goes 2morow.


22 April 2010

im liking the heavens view in dis place. my homecountry..

going out of my house as the sun start to rise, give amazing view of the sky, the clouds, the suin..

and also, goin back home..
as the sun sets..

n now i get to 'c' back what i used to see in the heavens' draw back in melb...

perhaps anyone else cud not see it.. but i guess, i imagine things over-beyond..

now i get to c the mountains and sea back in the clouds in sky..



sumtimes, i guess.. its a chance for people who cant get out to c the world much..

but one can always look it up at the sky..

20 April 2010

it looks like, seem y'day..
my head feels like bursting..
thought becoz of me skipping meals.. but then, it soon got worse..
last nite i slept early.. yet, it doesnt make things any better..

alhmdllh, i manage to drove back home safely today
klu ikut kn, nk stay je kt ofs..
but this is not uni, not mlb..
i cant do as what i did back then..

18 April 2010

d most patience of all, i think is my beloved mum..
n i truly regret for making anything that would have scarred even a bit in her heart..


ok, tadi baru nk ajar baby2 kucing makan durian..
hehe.. cumel je smua, kena paksa makan durian..
but i dont think my mum n i succeed in making them like durians..
huhu.. now i miss my franky.. the one which has always been a great fan of this durian..
will always wait by the un-opened durian, like giving a msg to us..
"please open this food for me"

:) :) :)

16 April 2010

2day was an extra-ordinary day 4 me..
got to áttend' a m_s socty in msia..
surprisingly, a lot of the people here kena m_s gak..

my mum n i went there 4 an interview tuk apply for fundraising help in getting the ExTraExpensive med..
(well, the ques asked was soO wierd)..
n then we were asked to go 4 a gathering..
ingtkan aper..
(meet the group who's r in the same state as u r..)
ok, so we were to introduce ourselves n how the 'disease has affected our lives..
n now i realised.. at times like these, people will be more appreciative of the Lord..
well, i guess, He luves the remembrance of His servants of Him..
and dat is y, He bestowed the gift of this disease..

15 April 2010

i'm gonna hate myself starting 2dy!!!
i tot it will be better 2day..
but dis thing meeting doc again 2morrow causing every disruption!
like b4, i'll nvr ever gonna find a true friend..

12 April 2010

this week was a hectic one i guess..
juz got back from jerantut..
my uncle juz passed away last week, due to an accident..
may Allah put him among the righteous..
being back in kg, i juz realized,
i can not recognized my cousins.. especially the guys..
how their feature change as they grew..
at least, the gurls still have the 'look' that
i remembered..

ok, last thursday, went for an appoinmnt to see my doc in hkl..
n wow, the cost of my medcine in msia is WAYYY more expensive than in melb..
klu beli kat melb, tukar duit msia, will be around rm3600..
tp in msia, klu beli, more than 5000 ringgit..
sape nk amik ubat dh cmni..
duit gaji pun x cukup nk beli ubat
klu oz bley murahkan ubat ni smpi org2 sana bley beli dalam 20dollar, jer (around 60 ringgit), knape kt cni x der krjn nk subsidize ubat tu..
this give me 1 conclusion..
x yah dh amik ubat..
mahal tahap max..
not worth it..
nway, hr tu jupe doc,
becoz my mum ikut, x der la nk ckp ngn doc tu byk2..
becoz my mum will b angry if she knew dat things happenning to me, n i have not told her..
another conclusion..
pasni gi juper doc, x yah bwk mak.. huhu..
tapi jln gi hosp pun x tau..
per la mu ni..
ok2.. i need to sleep...
esok keje dh.. n skang dh ngantuk,penat thp max..
penat duk dlm keter kut..huhu..
ok then.. till then..

-pen off-

02 April 2010

rupe2nya hr ni stat keje..
im in shock.. shock not becoz of workin, but becoz im not prepare for it..
alhamdulillah, d job was not too bad..
its similar to what i did in my internship..
the bad thing was when i drove back home..
cmane ntah boleh sesat..
luckily i decide to pray asar b4 goin back.. sbb sesat 2 jam lebih wey..
smpi2 pun dh nk hbs maghrib..
cmne ntah boleh sesat.. time interview last week x der la plak sesat..
tension je duk dlm keter yg jam 4ever..

01 April 2010

last nite was full moon..
which was 15th of rabi-al akhar
islamic calender is certainly the best.. every 15th of each month according to islamic calender, it will be full moon..
its really amazing...
though the sky here was not clear... but one still could detect the existence of the full moon..
its certainly outwit the thick clouds in da sky..
later i would be driving, insyaAllah.. to go for my registration..
i dont mind driving.. but to be truth.. i hate driving here, in my town..
once when i was with my sister, and it was a highway juction, and all of a sudden, a car in front of us, decides to stop.. i could not break or our car will have flown over, so without thinking, i turn up my steering, and it was like in a game arcade racing car..
alhamdulillah, there was no car on the path i steer up to.. if not, it would have cause a major accident.. my sis n i were silent for a while since we were in shock.. huhu
n today, i hope everything will be ok.. n i hope i remember the way to get there.. hoho..
n since my car only have cassette player.. i dont have any cassette that i would like to hear in d car.. i would juz have to bring my phone..
this is where, my mp3 phone is useful..
n dat is y i like s_e phone.. a phone which is used to hear music..
but i wont be wearing headphones.. i rarely where it in msia.. its never safe to drive in msia, with the music plug in the ear, deafen the driver to the surrounding..
ok2.. boleh x tulih dlm bhs mlayu mu ni..
kata bhs jiwa bangsa..
dan kita prlu memartabatkn bangsa kita .. ^_^
after a week of not taking my med.. i suddenly feel i need to take it tonite..
but, as usual, not the whole amount..
couldnt bare d pain..
now i need to choose..
the pain of a syringe, or the pain of d whole body.. waaahh....

hammy, when will i meet u again.. y r u not available 4 me to get u...

ok2, dah2.. mengarut je mu ni..
time to get of this comp..
which i think, u r computer addicted... (if there exist such term)..