30 May 2015

Dear macaemia, berry, choco, marthy, kontot & bengkok,

I hope u guys are enjoying the after life..

Do forgive for all my wrong doings, my neglectance..

I wouldn't want to be questioned later of my responsibilties..
of adopting you guys as my beloved pets..

But do know, i really miss & love u guys..

For each of u are the only friends i had..

29 May 2015

we are nowin the month of sha'ban, notfar from the mid of it..

O Allah, let me meet the month of ramadhan.. i miss to be in it, where each deed is rewarded more and more..

Just recently my friend's dad pass away.. may Allah bless his soul..

It makes me wonder, will i able to meet the coming ramadhan.. huh, o Allah, do let me meet 'him'.. for i am lack of deeds to be weighed later for a bestful justice..

03 May 2015

today marks the 3rd day of the public hols..

and today marks a week of my sore throat with dry cough which distrupt me from enjoying my hols.. 

huhu.. i know i should be grateful of it, as it reminds me that i am still under His care..

nonetheless, it make me wonder on others out there, who might even be in a worse condition..

how do i, will i, respond to their current state if i were placed in their shoes..?

will i be sad..

will i be depress..

or will i be angry..

or distress..

Only He knows best..

no matter what situation i am or will be placed in,
i have to remember, its for the best.
for He knows i'm able to 'handle' it..

as was stated in chapter 2, verse 216 of the Quran, which somehow meant that only He knows best as in our life, there are things that happen is to our dislike, but later on its actually good for us.. and the one that we prefer to occur will actually bring more harm.. 


15 April 2015

Today i've attended a 'communication' training..

Hah, i know. Why do i need to attend this kind of training..

Well, 1st, i need to learn how to communicate with people professionally.. in which today i realise, my behavior to some of my colleagues, clients are not professional since my reaction are mainly based on my emotion at that momment.

So today 'Class' has taught me something..

The training will continue tomorrow. Hope the end result really taught me for my other work to come..

10 April 2015

today was ackward..
from morning i felt my legs are not strong..
each time i walk, it felt as if i'll collapse any moment..
while i was driving back home today, my leg which was stepping on the pedal vibrated..
i was quite 'shocked' or surprised of this.. but Alhamdulillah, i manage to arrive home safely..

hm.. are these the signs that im going to leave the world soon..
so, i searched on it..
my finding showed that perhaps  my time to leave is not far off..

i have to seek forgiveness from The Almighty, from the people who knows/knew me..

this also explain why anything i read recently, either books or messages are related to death.
may He forgive me all the wrong doings..

08 March 2015

Is it too much to ask..
a friend thru thick & thins..
i know i,myself is not a good friend..but then again,
how can ibe a friend to anyone,when they don't bother to know i even exist..
i don't have the ability to make friend easily..
i have trouble to mingle with them..
so what can i do or should do to have a friend..
even the ones i used to think them as my friends are avoiding me..
 no wonder a colleague of mine fall to be in distress when all others are neglecting her..


20 February 2015

there are so much conflict in my life..

i don't even know how or what to begin with..

firstly would meant that im not good in starting relationship with people..

be it society & even family members..

which i've concluded they all despise me..

and here i thought my family members, parents would be the one to hold me, support me..
which of course not what happened..

in the beginning, yes they were supportive..

but as my other siblings start to return back home, im once again abandon..

which is perhaps the reason i rather be a 'workaholic', by just spending time more at the office..

and there's where i've also figured im not needed..

its strange how people use to be around me, when i were the 'smart' one..

and now, since this 'gift' are being taken away, how they left me to be alone..

oh how i regretted a lot of things, decision i've made few years back when i was in the process to pursue the degree.. which i think is useless..

hmm.. i could no longer change the past and i have to face the present
to ensure the future to brighten up step ahead...