31 July 2011

o my Lord..

give me strength to face this blessing month..

guide each of my steps to you, be it in my worship or in my work..

let the challenges you bestow me to face, be the healer to the wounds of my sins..

for the sake of Thy's name, this humble servant of Thy proceed..

12 July 2011

Today it come to my realization, when a good friend told me that, when we choose to join this path, its a blessing from Allah to purify oneself...

Perhaps the person that lost was planned by Him to part them from us, because if we stay close to them, it might bring us back to disobey Him wtih more sins..

friends are like mirror.. when the friend is good, it shows that we are good..

11 July 2011

this path has lead me to loose friends..

when i'm not a person who can socialize easily with people,
being on this path, had lead me to be a lonesome person..

and i thought, this walk should tighten the rope that had tied our hands.. yet, now i realize.. i was never a chosen one..

perhaps, they have even regretted it for inviting me to join them, back then..

but they do not loose anything.. as they are still favorable among them.. and yet, it had leave me alone.. behind..

well.. i think this has cause me to be in depression in a way or another..

i hope, it wont make me loose my mind because of it..

09 July 2011

lately the feeling seem to bother me..

should i stay on.. or should i let it go and put off..?

questions that keep on pounding on me, asking me to be quick to make the decision..

sometimes, i do wonder.. am i born to vow to this so called job..?

when, all i could think is that it has caused me to loose many of my friends.. and even weigh heavily on my studies back then..

it has also caused me to loose the trust from my parents..

so, do u call it good, when it brings the fact of loosing your life in this world..?

although the so called job brought me to a new bound of colleagues..
yet now, they seem to keeping a distance from me..further and further away in fact..as they are trying to ignore me as often as they could.. tho i've tried numerous times to get in touch with them.. but to no avail..

this have lead me to a lonesome life.. when i could have many others out there, if i did not change my path back then..

the only thing that kept me from straying away is when i heard once, where the prophet saw said..something that explain..
"those who make other people in anger to please Him, thus He will always be by one side.. and those who do things to make other people please, but cause anger to Him, thus, he will be left alone.."

but, then again.. i dont have other people around me.. except my family, which i think, if they could get rid of me, they would have done it long time ago..

hm.. my Lord, guide me in my doubtfulness here as there's no one who would do so...

04 July 2011

hari ini kepala aku rasa seperti mahu pecah..

mungkin sebab aku terlalu lama sgt menghadcap computer..

kt ofis hadap screen comp..

kr rumah pn tgk jer... hoho..

tgh hari org len kuar lunch.. aku tidur sebentar 5 mins.. kt meja..

bila kawan ofis kejut, terkejut benar aku..

tapi kuranglah skit sakit kepala..

tp not completely.. this have to make me wonder..

apakah sudah tiba masanya aku pergi.......?

Andai ini hari akhirku..

Andai ini hari akhirku..
Bawaku pergi dalam tundukku padaMu

Andai ini hari akhirku..
Pimpinkan diriku pada redhaMu

Andai tiada lagi ruang nafas buat diriku..
Ampunkan diriku dalam hari-hari silamku..

Andai telah tiba masaku..
Sinarkan cahaya rahmatMu dalam gelap yang menantiku..

Andai telah diriku mungkir pada janjiku padaMu..
Bukanlah ruang untuk aku kembali sujud padaMu..

Andai tiba hari perhitunganMu..
Sudilah kiranya Engkau bertemu dengan hinanya diriku..
Moga memayungi diriku dengan nilai rahmat kasihMu..
Harapanku pada dekatnya panggilanMu..