hrga sbuah xxxx

The Price Of Love


bila mekarnya sekuntum bunga..


gelora ombak tidak lagi dirasa..


segalanya tampak indah, bak istana kaca..


tiada lagi yang mampu diungkap, hanya mahligai tatapan mata..


persisnya berada di taman bunga..


harum baunya tiada ungkapan lahir dikata


hanya hati yang menjadi saksi, cinta yang tulus ini..


dengan harapan, ia akan kekal sebegini..


baik hari ini, esok mahupun lusa..


panas, sejuk tidak kira di mana jua..


semuanya tidak kan mengoyah kasih yang dipatri, lilauan hati..


kepadanya sahaja ia diberi..


dan tiada yang lain, mampu menandingi..


harga sebuah cinta, ikhlas dari sebuah hati..
______________
-pen off-

bismillah... ar Rahman, ar Raheem..

for today.. 2many unusual things happen
___________
1. this morning, i drove to work 10minutes late than my usual time..
yet, i still arrive early.. subhanallah...

2. the accountng person who was mad at me last week as i told b4,
was actually pleasantly nice to me today.. subhanallah..
i guess the stress at work that coz her to behave the other way back then

3. i msges with 1 of my sis here, told that.. if she's having a day off   2morow,due to labour day falling on saturday, lets met up in the evening, since i still have to work 2morow, half day.. but she was going back to her hometown 2morrow and ask me to meet up with her tonite.. but i really dont know the way how to get there.. so we promised to meet each other perhaps in another day.. insyaAllah..

4. during lunch break, i stayed in office.. and opened up my ym, being invisible.. and i saw, a few of my beloved sisters were on9.. so, i msgged them.. at 1st, i tot no-one will answer my bug..
Allahamdulillah.. all 3 of them response to my call.. tq sisters..
to sis1.. i told my story that happen y'day.. she was very understanding on what happen.. tq sis..
to sis2.. i asked her how's she's doin with the work @ d hosp..
n she told me she was at the hosp now which ive been there, to send my other sis there last year.. what a wonderful memories.. subhanallah..
to sis3.. she's the one who lift my spirit.. making me smile with her share..

5. this when all bad thing start to happen.. it started when i emailed a supplier about our order.. and ok, i admit, my mistake for putting the subject wrong.. but i really did attached the right doc. and suddenly the PIC, wants to changed the delivery add.. so, i was appointed to that supplier that we need to change the delivery point address..
up till this, he was ok with the change.. and then he replied, how bout the doc no. as ####.. is it from your company who ordered it..
so, i told him, yes.. but we've already canceled it last tues.. n i told him i'll foward the cancellation email.
now, when he starts to get angry.. he 'bang' me for not informing about the order n cancellation.. all those harsh words..
hey, it wasnt my fault.. i just did what the pic told me..
to whom i shud address the order to..
and now i get all the blame.. and since the email was cc to a whole lot of person, i was then accused of not informing the pic of the purchase is it the rite email dat i shud send it to..
well, i can tell u, i did ask dat person verbally, face to face about to whom should i send this email to.. and yes, that person gave me the wrong email..
and im getting all the humiliation.. and the blame
now, that person can only say to me..
"dont worry..it'll be ok.. "-translation from bm word-
at that time, only Allah knows whats in my heart..
aku mls nk marah.. [sbb klu aku dh start marah, especially if im start saying things in malay.. mmg truk la jadinya..]
tho the truth is, i was really2 feeling sad and feel humiliated at that moment.. i apologize several time to that supplier for my mistake which was actually wasnt my fault.. and promise not to do it again.. and i guess, this supplier like humiliating me, and keep replying my email.. saying sumthing like yeah, u shud never repeat this mistake again, becoz if u do, i'll blame u again..
huhu..
since time tu dh masuk asar.. aku pun, undur la diri dari org, gi solat asar.. mencari ketenangan.. n without intentionally.. my tears start dropping.. bukan aku sedih sbb kn mrh.. but d person who actually gave me the wrong info that cause all this trouble doesnt even admit she's wrong..and doesnt even apologize to me..
and than, there's another person, who were there with me during my lunch y''day console me in an email.. yeah.. was really unexpecting this kind of email from this person..
well, from now on.. i now.. who's ur true friend is..
that laugh with u when u're happy.. and cry with u to share ur sadness..
alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah..
i know this happen to me for a reason..
Allah wants me to be closer to Him.. for perhaps, im really goin off the course towards Him..
and for this, He send down the rain.. to match as whats my heart feels..
tq my Lord.. tq..
"Then will come after that a year in which people will be given rain.."(Yusuf:49) 
_____________________________

may each things that encounter in my life, will make me to be a stonger muslim in the 1 right path..
bismillahi tawakallahtu...

-pen off-

when d hearts keeps to beat non-stop..

there's so many things, i would like to know..

as there's so many things, are yet to show..

so little time i've got to throw..

for so little thrust i have in vow..

will i forth on a lifetime of commitment..

will it blaze on tho breeze seem to redundant..

the sparrow seems to chirps happily..

the clock in my mind ticks that buzz on, its juz worldly..

graze me firm on this ground..

put me stern, tho it bleeds till wound..

to You, my Lord.. i lay down my throne..

as my worthiness has long lost gone.. 

bimisllahi tawakallah tu..

O Allah.. place me among the righteous.. 

and steadfast my heart and action to be with You..

2 day was an ackward day..

my friend invited me to a very grand lunch...which she said,
to buy tickets, cost 300 ringgit each.. but she got a few tickets free..
so, i thought, ok.. y shudnt i join her.. since i dont always go out for lunch..

and, subhanallah.. it was really2 grand..
variety of foods,drinks,dessert,fruits.. a buffet..

the only thng which i sort of dislike was the mc..
who was actually.. a guy, who dressed as a woman.. u know what i mean..
dis mc ni mcm the character dlm citer upin-ipin pengmbaraan the movie tu..
pastu, dier panggil plak 5 bos from diff company, dress as if mikel jakson, n perform kt dpn.. nk buat ala2 amrcnIdol katernyer..
so,mnri la bos2 ni kt dpn.. n nk pilih pmng kn jerit kuat biler org tu dibw ke dpn..

aku ingt, it will end there.. but NO..

.. ader concert yg memekak2 plak..(oh, ni lg 1 benda yg aku x ske)
rupenyer, feymes ind-0nsía artst..
aiyoo.. aku mmg x kenal artis.. yg org msia pun aku x ingt name.. ape lagi yg o/c.. tp aku rs mcm nk pecah gegendang telinga kut..
auDio was tOoOO loud..

time tu aku mmg rase nk blk.. tp sbb aku ikut kwn aku, nek kreta dier..
x leh nk balk.. sbb 1 of them sbnrye dtg tuk tgk concert tu.. aku ingt smua pegi tuk lunch..

dh la aku dh lmbt blk ke ofis.. lmbt sejam dh wey.. tp kwn2 aku ckp x per.. dier ckp, ofis tu x bg benefit enough kt worker dier.. n ni event official ofis pun.. huh..

tp diorg keje section len.. marketing..
aku keje bhgn yg agak busy.. so, finally dpt la gak pujuk sorg yg nk stay tu tuk blk..

smpi2 ofis, org tnya aku gi maner..
to tell d truth, aku mmg x tau aper nm tempat tu..
so bila sorg mamat tu tny, ko kuar ngan xxx1 ker,
aku ckp yer.. pastu lg sorg plak tny, xxx1 tu bwk gi mane..
aku yg mmg x tau, ckp ntah, pegi ngan xxx2 skali..
mula ingt dier nk marah..
tp bile aku ckp name xxx2, baru dier ok..

hm.. takut dah wey.. aku x nk dh kuar  gi mane2 tmpt yg ada benda2 grand mcm gini.. gi kedai2 mkn biasa cukup la..

jap gi nk kuar ngn mak..
tetibe ayah nk ikut plak.. jealous la tu, org gi x ajak dier.. hehe
tp x kesah la ayah nk ikut pun..
mesti bosan duk sorg2 kt rmh..

a full extraordinary day for me..
and here i attached the scenery of d event this afternoon..

 this was sum of the things dat i took.. toO much choice.. rambang mata.. alhamdulillah

 ni kt tmpt buah2, dessert

 ni kt tmpt aku duduk pandg stage.. tp x nmpk sgt. aku mls nk gerak2..

ni view dr tmpt aku berdiri beratur amik mknn berlauk..

alhamdulillah..
all praise only to Allah SwTaála..

today was a good day..

my work was fun..
my driving was ok..

juz sumthin dat i have to laugh at myself..
my colleague asked me to help her send an email,
to cancel an order made y'day..

so, i was like.. ok.. its not hard..

n i guess, becoz i used to like reading english story books..
i found the rite way to write the cancellation  order email..
being firm yet polite..

n she was amazed by it.. astaghfirullah..
jgn timbulkn rasa riak dlm diriku ini ya Allah..

when i looked back at the email i sent..
byk je grammatical mistake..
but i guess.. d email was ok.. alhamdulillah..
=)

hope 2 morow i cud do better..
çan-dáce juz asked me to join them (d marketing grup)
for lunch 2day..
i hope i remember that 2morow..
as i was to join them 2day...but i totally forgot about it..

biznillah..

-pen off-
( i cud no longer use short form p/o since it meant puchazOrdr at my work are)

may 2morrow be a better day..

i sumhow felt regretted for getting close to sumone..
who eventually made me look 'disgusted' to everyone else..
..
n how i tot that...
..whoever closes the humiliation of a Muslim, Allah will cover its humilation in the world and the hereafter..

and hak seorang sahabat adalah:
saling menutup aib rakannya yang lain. kekurangan sahabat kita, jangan diheboh2kan ke orang lain..

bukan aku nk ckp, ape yg aku buat tu aib.. tapi cara dia menceritakan tu,
aku dapat rasakan, mesti orang yg mendengar perbualan kami itu seperti aku telah lakukan perkara yang buruk..

sedangkan, sebenarnya, aku tidak terangkan pun secara detail apa yg ingin aku smpikan.. sbb dia terlebih dahulu mencelah, sblm smpt aku terangkan...

well then.. lantak la..

aku bkn lari dari tgjwb d'wh..
i tried my best to get to know prog2 yg ada...
i tried to attend, but to this moment..ive not able to..
my u' has not yet been called.. i have one.. but
they unable to contact me yet.. that is what the pic here told me..

aku bkn mcm budak sombong kt tmpt keje..
in fact, aku rasa, aku sngt senang nk bek ngn makcik2 kt tmpt keje..
yg susah, the 'guys' at my work place..
bkn susah sbb ape, sbb mmg diorg tu mcm bdak skolah..
which i called as 'flirting'.. x kan aku nk lyn..
dgn the gurls, ok je.. alhmdllh..
ngn kakak2 floor len pun aku bek,iA..

dah la..
sdh lama merendahkan diri aku..
ive shud have not told/share wif u anythin bout my disease..
becoz, since then, u've always look down upon me..
the most easiest exmple is during d trip to adel...

ok, i shud stop..
its making me more and more stressful..

dh la td kt tmpt keje, brlaku vandalisme ats keter aku..
oh, keter ayah aku.. truk btul la org kt c ni..
huhu