lately the feeling seem to bother me..
should i stay on.. or should i let it go and put off..?
questions that keep on pounding on me, asking me to be quick to make the decision..
sometimes, i do wonder.. am i born to vow to this so called job..?
when, all i could think is that it has caused me to loose many of my friends.. and even weigh heavily on my studies back then..
it has also caused me to loose the trust from my parents..
so, do u call it good, when it brings the fact of loosing your life in this world..?
although the so called job brought me to a new bound of colleagues..
yet now, they seem to keeping a distance from me..further and further away in fact..as they are trying to ignore me as often as they could.. tho i've tried numerous times to get in touch with them.. but to no avail..
this have lead me to a lonesome life.. when i could have many others out there, if i did not change my path back then..
the only thing that kept me from straying away is when i heard once, where the prophet saw said..something that explain..
"those who make other people in anger to please Him, thus He will always be by one side.. and those who do things to make other people please, but cause anger to Him, thus, he will be left alone.."
but, then again.. i dont have other people around me.. except my family, which i think, if they could get rid of me, they would have done it long time ago..
hm.. my Lord, guide me in my doubtfulness here as there's no one who would do so...