after few years, only today i realized..
my memory is getting worse each day..
even today, i felt like it was only a few months since i left my univ. place..
but then.. today, counting it back..
it has been more than a year..

i am now almost a quater century of age..
but i still felt like i just turn 21 few months before..
and when i look around my friends.. most of them are married or getting marry soon..

i didn't thought of marrying because i felt im still young.. where-else im actually no longer young..

and i brought this up.. because when i reflect all my 'amal'.. it does not get better each day nor each month nor each year..
because i did not felt like its a new day each morning when i rise up from my night sleep..

if i used to remember all the things i've read, but now..
i no longer can do so..
surah that i used to remember together with its meaning..
has started to wither word by word each day..
and because of it, i used to hear the surah recited by others so that i remember it, even just with its wording without the meaning.. but its not good actually to not recall everything recited without the meaning..

my Lord.. the Most Merciful..
please let me remember You always..and please stay close to my heart..
do not let me astray from Your Guidance and trut Path..
do remind me my vow that i love You.. for me to fulfill the vow to You at all times..

~seeker of Allah Ta'ala lover