this remind me of how vulnerable i am on this earth..

for the past 2 weeks.. ive gone thru a lot..
a lot in a sense of by selfbeing..

last week.. i burnt my hand..
and the day before y'day, i fell from the bike..

is this a sign to me my Lord..?
being given a chance to still breath..
means, i need to do more..
as a humble servant to Him..

ok, i dont have the mood to write anymore.. till then..

recently i accidentally burnt my left hand..
the pain was extremely unbearable.. and i was at the work place at the time this incident occur..~
i can't complain to my workmates..
so yeah, i felt like screaming like #$%^&*..
but then, i know it wont make any better..
thought i would not able to type or drive for that matter..
and then again, im worng..
nothing beats its the best than His will..

it has now been 3 months since this numbness to my palm and fingers occured..and it still has not recover..
but im glad, despite the numbness, my hand could still feel the pain when the boiled water spill onto my hand..
its weird isn't it..

today, somehow, my mind return back my memory to a story i've learnt when i was in my upper secondary school..
the Lótus eáter..
the plot of the story somehow make me wonder.. will my life be like the banker in the story..?
i can plan.. but to what extend will it go with the plan..?
i can;t imagine until what age i'll live on..
despite the urgent need to return to the live of the other side..
i know i won't able to face it with distinction in the evaluation time..

hm.. ya Rabb..
do forgive my sins that i've develop accidently or with intention to it..
nothing will ever make this sins tarnish except with Your Forgiveness my Lord..

hr tu, gi across the south china sea..
and at one of the park, it was raining..

and i was walking down the stairs, and i fall. with my spine hitting the ground..
huh.. skang dh sakit sluruh badan.. cmne ntah..
one thing i realize tho, throughout my 3days journey there..
im not meant to be on this 'road'..

i know, this question/statement keep on appearing now and then.. but today i think, it proves it all..

yo la.. nothing more i guess, cud say it all..

yes, i have to insist admitting im in no pain..

tho at times, the hurt is unbearable.. but i have 2 stand on making it bearable..

let the body wound, to let it nourish the heart..

bét@fEron vs fev3R

2 choose btwn 2..


amik betaF, i'l b getting a heavy fEver..

x amik betaF kang, mS bertmbh truk..

huhu.. td amik betaF.. skng tgh demam truk..

cmne la nk bgn g keje sok..
huhu..

ok..dh x lrt ni.. nite2..
a remebrance 2 my beloved pEt..

kadangkala.. senang untuk kita mengungkapkan kata ikhlas..
lahir dari bibir.. namun sejurus itu juga ia terbang dibawa hembusan angin..

pelbagai jenis gerak kerja yg jelas perlu keikhlasan..
dan kebanyakkan darinya itu, mencorak menjadi sebahagian dari daily time-plan..

dan daripada itu, apabila ia menjadi suatu rutin..kebiasaan..
maka.. sedar ataupun tidak.. keikhlasan yang pada awalnyer zahir murni..
lama kelamaan, ia hanya sekadar menjadi ikhlas pada minda..tp bukan lagi di hati..

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"wahai tuhanku.. aku keluar untuk merenungi hebatnya ciptaanMu, dinaungi indahnya pawana ukiranMu,Yang Maha Agung..
untuk melahirkn keinginan dalam diri ini untuk terus sujud padaMu..dan lebih mengenaliMu dengan lebih erat..
Ya Rabb, tetapkanlah diriku untuk tetap taat padaMu, biarpun ramai di luar sana memilih untuk pergi jauh dariMu.."

"ya Allah.. maafkan hambaMu ini dlm segala kata2nya, baik secara penulisan mahupun tata bicara,,
maafkan diri ini, jika ia dizahirkan bukan untuk menggapai redhaMu..maafkan, jika ia lahirkan titisan2 riya dlm hatiku..
lebih ku mohon keampunanMu, andai setiap perilaku ku bertentangan dari kata2 ku..
faghfirrli ya Rahman.. faghfirlli ya Raheem.."
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